When 57 words can be reduced to 43, nearly 25 per cent – and mean the same thing – then there is clearly something careless about the original. As it’s also about job losses and other crucial information, then it’s particularly heedless to bury the news.
In this news release, definitely for a good cause, there are several instructive writing tips that shorten the headline and lead, but also add clarity.
This company commits among the most widely occurring PR writing mistakes, and that is: corporations, organizations and institutions are an ‘it’ in a second reference. ‘They’ refers to people. The college raised its tuition; the students voiced their displeasure.
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In this news release from the Israeli EMS organization @unitedhatzalah, there is missing clarity and befuddling structure as well as grammatical and punctuation mistakes.
The PR Writer begins a series of PR Tools for writing with an examination of online writing tools and how to eliminate extra words.
How to be a better online writer overnight – makes a bold claim, improving your writing in one day. This writing system immediately improves almost any sentence.
In this PR Writer news release analysis, some essential errors in a story about #roadsidetesting are corrected, passive voices eliminated, and the headline now connects with the lead.
As much as the PR Writer supports this project, the news release violates a fundamental media relations principle—the lead ignores the headline. The lead should recapitulate the headline, which it does not do until the third paragraph.