In this press release, there are some textbook examples of basic mistakes, both in copy and emphasis, not to mention capitalization and headline style. The lead was reduced from 142 word to 109, around 23 per cent.
Word repetitions are easy to catch: don’t repeat the same word in the same sentence or in an adjacent phrase. Even avoid repeating a word elsewhere in a news release.
t always astonishes me that PR departments and agencies pay top dollar to release news electronically and make such basic mistakes. Here are a few from recent news releases.
When 36 per cent – or from 75 to 48 words – can be removed from a news release, without changing the meaning, then Better PR Writer alarm bells ring, and the editing PR Tools must be deployed right away.
This PR Tools news release excellently illustrates the benefits of several important Better PR Writer lessons: avoid the passive voice, get rid of ‘of’ and edit out location words (in, located in).
Once again, a paid news release, the essential PR Tool, is issued, and ignores the most essential news development, preferring to describe its achievements before getting to the reason for sending the release over PR newswires.
In this news release, definitely for a good cause, there are several instructive writing tips that shorten the headline and lead, but also add clarity.
My exploration into the U.S. PR Newswire has proved to be very fruitful. Its news releases display many examples begging for changes and editing, and this one from DroneDek is a doozy.
This company commits among the most widely occurring PR writing mistakes, and that is: corporations, organizations and institutions are an ‘it’ in a second reference. ‘They’ refers to people. The college raised its tuition; the students voiced their displeasure.
As a news release maven, it makes it all worthwhile to find that even PR firms have bad days and produce ill-conceived news releases.