This PR Tools news release demonstrates that by locating ‘Of Is and By,’ the key target words described in How to Be a Better Online Writer Overnight, the lead can be compressed significantly, reducing the word count from 75 to 65 words.
In a few short steps, this PR Tools news release benefited from easy and basic Better Writer edits and reconsidered emphasis.
Once again, a paid news release, the essential PR Tool, is issued, and ignores the most essential news development, preferring to describe its achievements before getting to the reason for sending the release over PR newswires.
When 57 words can be reduced to 43, nearly 25 per cent – and mean the same thing – then there is clearly something careless about the original. As it’s also about job losses and other crucial information, then it’s particularly heedless to bury the news.
In this news release, definitely for a good cause, there are several instructive writing tips that shorten the headline and lead, but also add clarity.
My exploration into the U.S. PR Newswire has proved to be very fruitful. Its news releases display many examples begging for changes and editing, and this one from DroneDek is a doozy.
This company commits among the most widely occurring PR writing mistakes, and that is: corporations, organizations and institutions are an ‘it’ in a second reference. ‘They’ refers to people. The college raised its tuition; the students voiced their displeasure.
As a news release maven, it makes it all worthwhile to find that even PR firms have bad days and produce ill-conceived news releases.
Somehow, the cannabis industry commits the most egregious grammar and style errors in paid press releases distributed over PR newswires.
It’s always astonishing how simple releases are distributed with so many costly extra words. Yet they are; here’s one that really could have benefited from reviewing How to be a better online writer.