Word repetitions are easy to catch: don’t repeat the same word in the same sentence or in an adjacent phrase. Even avoid reiterating a word elsewhere in a news release. In the following example, ‘plant-based’ was duplicated three times in a headline and four times in a lead. Remarkable. Must be a PR newswire record. Applying PR tools, it wasn’t easy to edit out those references, as some might be there for precision.
Original headline
Plant-Based Foods of Canada Partners with the Plant- Based Foods Association to Offer Certification for Plant-Based Claims in Canada (19 words)
Better PR Writer Edit
Plant-Based Foods of Canada Partners with U.S. Association to Offer Canadian Claims Certification (13 words)
In this example, the original mention of ‘plant-based’ foods should govern the other repeats. No other group is likely to be in those places and it is more concise. An essential PR tool.
Original lead
MISSISSAUGA, ON, Dec. 18, 2019 /CNW/ – Plant-Based Foods of Canada (PBFC) is pleased to announce that the Certified Plant-Based program is now available to companies in Canada. As the exclusive licensing agent for plant-based products, we look forward to working with the innovative companies who are bringing more plant-based choices to Canadian consumers.
The Certified Plant-Based protocol, which is owned by the U.S.-based Plant Based Foods Association (PBFA) focuses on plant-based alternatives to animal-based foods and specifies the criteria required to make a certified plant-based food claim. NSF International serves as the certifying agency, supporting the program. (92 words, both paragraphs)
Better PR Writer edit: 92 to 69 words or 25 per cent
Plant-Based Foods of Canada (PBFC) the exclusive licensing agent for plant-based products, announced that its certification program, which specifies the criteria required to make a certified food claim, is now available to Canadian companies.
The U.S (PBFA) owns the Certified protocol, which focuses on alternatives to animal-based foods and specifies the criteria required to make a certified food claim. NSF International serves as the certifying agency, supporting the program. (69 words)
- In this news release, the comment ‘look forward to working with’ can be in a quote later and is superfluous in a lead.
- The organization’s initials should be clear when referencing the U.S. group.
- Of course, ‘pleased to announce,’ the number one PR error was eliminated. To repeat: a press release implies that the distributor is pleased about something, so it’s redundant and unnecessary.
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