Word repetitions are easy to catch: don’t repeat the same word in the same sentence or in an adjacent phrase. Even avoid reiterating a word elsewhere in a news release. In the following example, ‘plant-based’ was duplicated three times in a headline and four times in a lead. Remarkable. Must be a PR newswire record. Applying PR tools, it wasn’t easy to edit out those references, as some might be there for precision.
Plant-Based Foods of Canada Partners with the Plant- Based Foods Association to Offer Certification for Plant-Based Claims in Canada (19 words)
Better PR Writer Edit
Plant-Based Foods of Canada Partners with U.S. Association to Offer Canadian Claims Certification (13 words)
In this example, the original mention of ‘plant-based’ foods should govern the other repeats. No other group is likely to be in those places and it is more concise. An essential PR tool.
MISSISSAUGA, ON, Dec. 18, 2019 /CNW/ – Plant-Based Foods of Canada (PBFC) is pleased to announce that the Certified Plant-Based program is now available to companies in Canada. As the exclusive licensing agent for plant-based products, we look forward to working with the innovative companies who are bringing more plant-based choices to Canadian consumers.
The Certified Plant-Based protocol, which is owned by the U.S.-based Plant Based Foods Association (PBFA) focuses on plant-based alternatives to animal-based foods and specifies the criteria required to make a certified plant-based food claim. NSF International serves as the certifying agency, supporting the program. (92 words, both paragraphs)
Better PR Writer edit: 92 to 69 words or 25 per cent
Plant-Based Foods of Canada (PBFC) the exclusive licensing agent for plant-based products, announced that its certification program, which specifies the criteria required to make a certified food claim, is now available to Canadian companies.
The U.S (PBFA) owns the Certified protocol, which focuses on alternatives to animal-based foods and specifies the criteria required to make a certified food claim. NSF International serves as the certifying agency, supporting the program. (69 words)
- In this news release, the comment ‘look forward to working with’ can be in a quote later and is superfluous in a lead.
- The organization’s initials should be clear when referencing the U.S. group.
- Of course, ‘pleased to announce,’ the number one PR error was eliminated. To repeat: a press release implies that the distributor is pleased about something, so it’s redundant and unnecessary.
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