How to reduce a headline, lead and supporting paragraphs from 196 to 147 words or 25 per cent

In the social media and mobile age, observing space limitations and compressing copy becomes more and essential. After all, we are writing for phones and even watches, and no one wants to read excessive copy. In this example, from Cision, the company that checks social media reach and distributes news releases, the headline, lead and supporting paragraphs were reduced from 196 to 147 words, or 25 per cent and had the same meaning. In the following paragraphs,  bold face represents the original and italics the key changes. #humberpr #copy #prwriter

Original headline – 14 words

New Social Influencer Discovery Module Enables Communications Teams to Expand Relationships with Non-Media Influencers

Of Is and By Edit – 12 words

Teams Expand Non-Media Influencer Relationships with New Cision Social Influencer Discovery Module

Original lead – 61 words

CHICAGO, June 18, 2018 /CNW/ — Cision today announced a new Social Influencer Discovery module for Cision Communications Cloud® that enables comms pros to identify and develop relationships with social media influencers to gain earned media coverage on social channels. This feature makes Cision the first in the industry to offer a fully integrated comms platform that completely aligns both traditional media and dynamic social influencer capabilities.

 

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Of Is and By Edit – 49 words

Cision today announced the Cision Communications Cloud®’s new Social Influencer Discovery module, enabling comms pros, seeking social channel earned media, to identify and develop relationships with social influencers. With this feature, Cision offers the industry’s first fully integrated comms platform completely aligning traditional media and dynamic social influencer capabilities.

Original quote – 68 words

“In a communications climate where PR professionals far outnumber journalists, social influencer strategies are critical to the success of communications programs,” said Kevin Akeroyd, CEO of Cision. “By integrating Social Influencer Discovery into Cision Comms Cloud, we’re helping teams to identify and target the right social influencers on Twitter alongside traditional media contacts. The emphasis is on helping comms pros create trusted conversations with the most relevant influencers.”

 

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Of Is and By Edit – 53 words

“As PR professionals far outnumber journalists, social influencer strategies are critical to communications program success,” said Cision CEO Kevin Akeroyd. “By integrating Social Influencer into our Comms Cloud, teams can identify and target the right Twitter social influencers alongside traditional media contacts, helping comms pros create trusted conversations with the most relevant influencers.”

Original second paragraph – 44 words

Cision Communications Cloud is the only platform offering the ability to identify and target individual social influencers alongside traditional media contacts and outlets, monitor the results of comms campaigns across both social and traditional media and analyze the results in an integrated, easy-to-use interface.

Of Is and By Edit – 33 words

The only platform identifying and targeting individual social influencers alongside traditional media contacts and outlets, Cision’s Cloud monitors comms campaign results across social and legacy media, analyzing results in an integrated, easy-to-use interface.

 

 

Author: rotmanprwriter

PRWriter, Copy Doctor, Humber College PR and writing Prof

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